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In Loving Memory of Browny

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Category Archives: The Ugly

Top 10 Most Annoying Road Users

Have you ever been driving along minding your own business and then some twat does something stupid which annoys you?  This is my list of the top 10 road users that really get my goat and make me want to stop and smack them.

  1. Pizza Delivery Boys on Mopeds.
  2. People who buy cars that don’t come with indicators as standard.
  3. Colour Blind Cyclists.
  4. People who believe that the speed limit is too high and that 20mph is plenty.
  5. 4 Wheel Drive owners who are scared of getting their car dirty.
  6. People trying to conduct a conference call while driving.
  7. Car owners who have forgotten where their ashtray is.
  8. People who try to squeeze by while I’m reversing into my driveway.
  9. Drivers who have obviously paid 2 road taxes so that they can use both sides of the road.
  10. Anybody who thinks that the white lines in a car park are optional.

That’s my list.  I’d love to see yours.

UNA PALOMA BLANCAAAAAAAAAA!!

It’s a Dawgs Life ….What a Dog!

 UNA PALOMA BLANCAAAAAAAAAA!!

Diamond Dawg has just been on holiday and he and his wife stayed in a lovely town called Frigiliana just North of Nerja.

It’s a quaint little village full of romantic restaurants, Spanish wine shops, arts and craft emporiums all this idyllic town nestled in this Spanish Mountainous region.

One day we went into town and parked our hire car, had a delightful lunch and returned to the car to go back to our Villa.

With Parking ticket in hand I approached the booth where we were instructed to pay. But no one was there. After calling “Ola, Ola” a few times in our very best catalan stylee, Dawg’s wife then found a small cupboard like room to the rear of the booth.

Unwittingly she opened the door and the Dawg and his wife were confronted with an arsehole and a pair of Bollocks attached to a pair of legs, hurriedly trying to put on some shorts to cover his Spanish manhood. And there accompanying that vision, a much hurried female figure, skirt round her middle jumping off said pair of Bollocks and trying to maintain some dignity.

Calmly Dawg held the car park ticket aloft and said “Where do I swipe this?”

Dawg and his wife withdrew to a safer area in front of the booth, where, to the parking attendant’s credit, he came, repaired from his embarrassment, and said “2 Euro Fifty Cents”.

Dawg handed the ticket over not wishing to make physical contact in any way, even via the parking ticket.

So he had a sense of propriety did that parking attendant.  He interrupted a shag to do his duty which was to collect 2 euro Fifty cents for his local authority. What a guy. How many of you would do the same?

Search your soul…………………………………..

Are we Taking Reality Drama Too Far?

Act of Valour

A Navy SEAL is engaged in a personnel recovery mission in Relativity's Media's, "Act of Valor". Credit: IATM LLC Copyright 2011

With the release of Act of Valour comes a new line in cinema experiences – scripted reality movies. These are real serving Navy Seals ‘playing’ at being real serving Navy Seals. They can’t really act, but who cares, they are shooting real bullets at each other because that makes it more ‘real’. So what next?

TOWIE and its mimics have already introduced us to the idea of ‘real’ people ‘acting’ their lives out, a concept that is actually very hard to comprehend. What exactly is a scripted reality show? How can it be both? Either it’s real or it isn’t… or is it?

Clearly the public (that’s you and me) are tired of real drama – that is shows made by actors written by writers and filmed by camerapeople… We want it be more REAL. We want to see suffering, we want to see real angst, real pain… real… hang on… doesn’t that scare you?

So what next? What’s the next big reality show that grabs the public? How far will we push it before we push it too far? Quite frankly, I hate watching people like me paraded in front of me. I want to see people I’d like to be or I could imagine myself being. I do not want to see ME!

So when Gladiators comes back on screen, don’t be surprised if the fights are a little more… real…

Total confusion and disruption on all South West Trains lines due to someone in their 20′s being hit by a train. The mixed reports say there were two injured, one obviously fatally. What is interesting is the total lack of sympathy anyone has with the man who died. Perhaps he fell. Perhaps it was an accident. One witness says a guard was hurt badly in the incident. Was he trying to run away from the guard? What is clear is that if it was deliberate, no one cares. And if it was deliberate, why do it in front of children heading home from school. Then again, if you’re in that frame of mind, you wouldn’t really care.